Friendship is one of the most influential areas of life, and it’s almost never treated like a stewardship assignment. Which is wild to me, because the people around you shape your thinking, your habits, your convictions, and sometimes even the entire direction of your life. Scripture takes relationships seriously because relationships shape formation. Stewarding friendship means being intentional about who influences you and how you influence others.

And this is something I’m particularly passionate about, because my best friend in the whole world? The Lord literally dropped her in my lap.

We were both in an online business mastermind, and while we were on a Zoom call, I saw her face pop up and the Lord said, that’s your new best friend. I said, no way. Little did I know, He told her the same thing. She saw this weird blue-haired chick on her screen and the Lord said, that’s your new best friend. And she thought, that’s weird, no way.

Three or four years later, we’re still best friends. Our kids hang out on Zoom. When we first met, we were both pretty lukewarm Christians. We believed in Jesus but were kind of just, yeah, about certain things. Over the years, the Lord used us in each other’s lives to bring conviction. I honestly don’t even know how we got here, but God is good. And I am so grateful, because she quite literally changed and saved my life.

The people you surround yourself with matter. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

The Foundation: Iron Sharpens Iron

The core passage for this one is Proverbs 27:17:

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Proverbs is wisdom literature, so it’s important to understand what that means. These sayings describe patterns of life, not isolated commands. This isn’t saying you must do this or else. It’s saying that if you do this, you’re likely to see a positive result, because God has designed certain things a certain way.

The imagery matters here. How do you sharpen an ax? You push it against a spinning iron wheel. Think of those scenes in medieval movies where sparks are flying while someone sharpens a sword. It’s not easy. It requires friction. It’s not passive. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes nicks and you have to go back in and do more work.

That’s just what a godly friendship is.

Growth in friendship often includes correction, challenge, and accountability. A godly friendship doesn’t exist only for comfort. It exists for formation. My best friend has called me out on so much stuff, and I’ve called her out on so much stuff. We hear each other because we both know we’re giving and receiving from a place of leaning on the Lord, not ourselves.

Relationships That Build vs. Relationships That Drain

Proverbs 13:20:

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Well, dang. That’s pretty straight to the point. Not a fan, but here we are.

1 Corinthians 15:33:

“Do not be deceived: bad company ruins good morals.”

Psalm 1:1-3:

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”

The people you walk with influence the direction of your life, whether you like it or not. This isn’t about arrogance. It’s about wisdom and influence.

I remember being a kid and my mom having opinions about my friends. At the time, I blamed her. Like Mom, you just don’t understand. I would never do that. Well. Your girl did a lot. Some things I didn’t do, but honestly, mostly out of fear of consequences and fear of dying, not really out of fear of the Lord. I made some really stupid choices because of who I was around, and I influenced some stupid choices too, so I’m not putting it all on my friends. But this matters.

Careful who you surround yourself with

I know who I was hanging out with five, six, seven years ago, and who I was then is drastically different from who I am now. The people who encouraged my sin, who told me that denying my sin was denying myself, I stayed in that. I lived in it. It wasn’t until the Lord ripped me out of those friendships, which sucked, that I realized those weren’t the friendships I needed or wanted.

Notice the progression in Psalm 1: walking, standing, sitting. Influence deepens over time. Even if you think you’re going to be fine, something is going to get you stuck. It’s going to progress. Influence always does.

Some relationships strengthen your faith, your growth, your discipline. Others consistently pull you toward compromise, negativity, or chaos. Stewarding this means recognizing that not every relationship should have equal access to your life. Boundaries aren’t rejection. Boundaries are wisdom.

Questions to sit with:

• Who in your life consistently pushes you toward growth? Who pushes you toward sin, staying stuck, or staying small?
• Which relationships repeatedly drain your energy, peace, or conviction? Which ones bring those things?

Being a Faithful Friend in Truth and Grace

Proverbs 27:6:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

When my friend calls me out, it sucks. It hurts. She says things I don’t want to hear. But it’s like disinfectant on a wound. I don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable. But ultimately it’s faithful, and it’s going to keep me from getting stuck. Getting nothing but “you’re fine, you’re amazing, it’s okay” from someone who won’t tell you the truth? That’ll lead to death.

Ephesians 4:15:

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”

Colossians 3:12-14:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Real friendship requires honest correction. Flattery protects comfort. Faithful correction protects character. Truth without love becomes harsh. Love without truth becomes enabling. Biblical friendship holds both together.

I have put my best friend through the absolute wringer. I know I’ve been the most irritating person in her life at times. I’ve said things and done things and she’s just looked at me like, will you please get it together. And she has been so, so patient with me. She calls me out and gives me grace at the same time. That’s how friends are supposed to be.

Be a godly friend

Being a godly friend means showing up consistently, not just when it’s convenient, and having the courage to say hard things when necessary. My best friend lives in another state. I’ve told her, if you need anything, you let me know. I will figure it out. I will get in the car, board the dog, and be there. And she knows I mean it. She’s the friend who sent groceries to my doorstep when she knew we were struggling financially. She’s called my mom and arranged things for me when she couldn’t physically be here. That’s what we do. We give and we take, both of us.

Questions to sit with:

• Are you willing to speak truth when a friend needs it, or do you stay silent out of fear?
• Do you respond to your friends with grace when they struggle, or do you pull back?

Stewarding Your Circle with Discernment

Proverbs 4:23:

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”

Luke 6:40:

“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone, when he is fully trained, will be like his teacher.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.”

Guarding your heart includes guarding relational influence. Not everyone should have deep access to your inner life. Yes, be humble. Yes, be vulnerable. But not everybody needs all of you. You have to discern who is genuinely for you and who isn’t, because some people will act like they’re for you while working for the enemy. You’ve got to rely on the Lord to guide you there. He will.

Over time, we become like the people who influence us most. That’s just what Luke 6:40 is saying. And we are not meant to do life alone. God designed us for mutual support, and Ecclesiastes 4 makes that clear.

Communication Matters

If you’re hyper-independent like me, if you don’t like people, if you will do literally anything to avoid communicating your needs, this is for you. You are not supposed to be doing it alone. When things get hard, I don’t even want to talk to my husband. I don’t want to talk to my friend. I don’t want to talk to anybody. But you know what a good friend does? She reaches out before I do. The Lord tells her my business all the time and it is so annoying. He just nudges her: you should probably call Karleigh. You should probably check on her. He will not let me be by myself. And I am so grateful.

Discernment means recognizing that not all relationships are the same level. Some people are acquaintances. Some are ministry partners. A few are close friends who walk through life with you. The goal is not having the most friendships. It’s having the right ones.

I have one close best friend. A lot of acquaintances. Not many people I let in close, and that’s by design. The Lord’s been working on me to open up a little more, but also to hold onto that discernment. If you’re struggling with this, you’re not alone. It’s hard.

Questions to sit with:

• Who are the people you trust most with your spiritual life?
• Who do you allow to speak into your decisions?

Don’t just read these and keep scrolling. Pull out a journal and actually write your answers. These are worth sitting in.

Friendship as Mutual Stewardship

Hebrews 10:24-25:

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Galatians 6:2:

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

This one’s for those of you who don’t want to be a burden. Who won’t say anything. Who won’t ask for help. By refusing to share, you’re actually going against the Word, because you’re not giving your friends the ability to do what they’re called to do. You’re robbing them of their biblical duty.

I know a lot of you don’t want to share because you grew up around someone who trauma-dumped constantly. Maybe your mom vented to you about your dad. Maybe you were the emotional support kid. And now you’d rather die than put that on someone else. I get it. But there is a right way to share. Let yourself be a burden for two seconds. I’m not even going to tell you you’re not a burden, because I know enough people have already said that. Let yourself be a burden, and watch what God does.

Friendship is not just about companionship. It’s about formation. The people closest to you will influence your habits, your thinking, and your faith. Stewarding friendships means choosing relationships wisely, investing in them intentionally, and showing up faithfully.

A Prayer to Close

Heavenly Father, thank You for this time in Your Word. I pray that You would put Your hand on every person reading this and bring godly relationships into their lives. Remove any relationship that is not of You. Give them wisdom in choosing relationships, and humility to receive correction from those friends. Help them to know the difference between someone who loves them too much to let them stay stuck and someone who wants to hurt them. Give them courage to be the faithful friend who speaks the truth with grace. And place people in their lives who will strengthen their walk with You. Thank You for all You’ve done, all You’re doing, and all You’re about to do. In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you’re ready to stop doing life alone and find your people, come join us in the STWRD Collective. It’s a community of women who are choosing their circle wisely and sharpening each other as iron. This is where we stop consuming and start actually living the life God called us to. I cannot wait to see you in there.

Find me on Instagram at @karleighwalkswithjesus or reach out at karleighwalkswithjesus@gmail.com.

I love you. God loves you. Now go text that friend.

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