A lot of Christians treat singleness like a waiting room. Something temporary, incomplete. The truth is that Scripture doesn’t frame it that way at all.
In the Bible, singleness is not a pause on purpose. It’s a season with its own stewardship assignment. And for a lot of believers, it’s where God does some of the most formative work on identity, calling, and devotion.
I spent a long time being single. And I did single so wrong. So I’m not coming at this from a place of having it all figured out. I haven’t even been married for a year. But I was single for almost eight or ten years, and I know what it’s like to be in that season and to waste it, and to eventually stop wasting it.
This is for you if you’re single and tired of it. It’s for you if you’re single and never want to be in a relationship again. It’s for you if you think maybe God’s called you to singleness for life. And it’s for you if you’re married and want to understand what your single friends are actually walking through.
I don’t want to frame this as singleness being something you’re just waiting to get out of. Paul was called to singleness. You might be too. What I do want to do is talk about what Scripture actually says about this season, and why it matters that you steward it well.
And as always, don’t take my word for it. Take everything back to Scripture. I’m human, I’m fallible, and I can absolutely get things wrong. God doesn’t. So take it to him.
The Spiritual Advantage Nobody Talks About
The core passage for this episode is 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Paul is not saying marriage is bad. He says that too, right in the text. What he’s saying is don’t be in such a rush to get out of this season, because you’re going to miss what it’s offering you.
Verse 35 is the key: to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Singleness has a unique spiritual advantage. Fewer relational obligations competing for your attention. More space to focus on God.
I can absolutely attest to this. When I was single, I was in my Bible all the time. It was just me and God, and I was on fire. Now I’m navigating marriage, and that is a whole different dynamic. I’m not using that as an excuse for where my relationship with God should be, but I am saying that what you have right now in this season is genuinely beautiful if you’ll use it.
That focus is meant to be stewarded, not wasted. Don’t take the space God has given you and fill it with distraction. Use it to build your relationship with him.
Fulfillment Isn’t Found in a Relationship Status
Psalm 16:11:
“In your presence there is fullness of joy.”
Fulfillment is not found in relationship status. It’s not found in stuff or in just not wanting to be lonely anymore. It’s found in God’s presence. In your actual relationship with him. Please don’t look past this.
Spending time with the Lord will change your entire perspective on singleness. It doesn’t mean it’s going to suck any less if you’re tired of being single. It doesn’t mean the physical desires just disappear. But getting into God’s presence is the key. I say that as someone who broke free from porn addiction. Getting into the presence of the Lord was the only way I was able to break that pull. And when I got married, my whole relationship with physical intimacy changed because I was no longer doing it out of a need for validation. I’m sharing that because it’s real, and because nobody talks about it.
Seek God First
Matthew 6:33:
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.”
It doesn’t say seek first the perfect husband, then 2.5 kids, then the dog, then the white picket fence. Probably get the fence before the dog, by the way, I said that in the wrong order. But the point is, Jesus puts purpose in kingdom pursuit, not life milestones. What is God calling you to do right now? Not next month. Not when you’re in a relationship. Right now. Go do that.
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Colossians 3:2:
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
Identity and direction come from Christ, not from your circumstances. The world says fulfillment comes through romance, through sex, through finding your person. Scripture says fulfillment comes through your relationship with God.
And I know someone reading this is thinking, okay but I don’t even know how to build that. Go pick up your Bible and start reading. The blog has an entire library of free resources to help you learn how to study Scripture, break free from porn addiction from a biblical perspective, and steward your life better. All my papers from school are on there. I’m trying to kill every excuse. Just get in your Bible.
Lack Produces Discomfort
Here’s the thing about singleness being defined by lack: it produces frustration. When singleness is defined by purpose, it produces focus. And those are two very different lives.
I know what it looks like to define it by lack, I was there. I was involved in a lot of activities in my single days. And then God literally picked me up, put my whole family in a car, and moved us across the country. I stopped using dating apps because honestly I was just using them for the wrong things, and I told God, if you’re going to bring me somebody you’re going to have to drop him in my lap because I’m done. And he did exactly that. I didn’t even have to leave the house.
That shift in focus changed my life.
Questions to sit with:
- What am I actually building in this season?
- Am I treating this time as preparation or as delay?
Stewarding Your Time, Calling, and Purity
Ephesians 5:15-16:
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”
Time is one of the greatest resources you have in singleness. I say this as a former single mom. When I got into a relationship, one of the things I genuinely had to grieve was that my time shifted. It wasn’t just about me and my son anymore. I had another person to consider, a whole relationship to build, and some really hard conversations to have because my husband wasn’t just getting me, he was getting my son too. That’s a big deal.
The time you have right now is a gift. Without intentional stewardship, it drifts. You get distracted, overwhelmed, caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter. But if you steward it well, your relationship with God and your preparation for whatever comes next will be completely different.
Purity Isn’t Restriction
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5:
“This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.”
Purity is not restriction for its own sake. It’s alignment with God’s design. God created sex. The enemy didn’t invent it. God designed our bodies to enjoy it, yes for procreation, but also just because he made us that way. Sex is supposed to be good. The reason God calls us to keep it within marriage is because of what happens outside of it, emotionally, physically, spiritually. There are real consequences. I’ve lived them. I’m not judging anyone driving home from somewhere they probably shouldn’t have been, because your girl has been there. But I’m calling you to take it to God and let him start shifting your heart.
And to whoever is sitting here thinking “at least I’m not having sex” while watching porn, I love you, but Jesus says that’s adultery. It’s cheating on your future partner. I say that as someone who has walked out of porn addiction, not from a place of judgment, but because I want you to actually be free.
2 Timothy 2:22:
“Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace.”
Christian maturity requires both fleeing and pursuing. You turn away from sin and you intentionally move toward godliness. Stewarding singleness means guarding your habits, your relationships, and your boundaries. It means using your time for growth, for service, for obedience, for calling.
Questions to sit with:
- How am I using the time God has given me right now?
- Are my habits helping me grow or distracting me from my purpose?
If your prayer life feels distracted or dry, Fervent by Priscilla Shirer is a must-read. It’s not fluffy, it’s a straight-up battle plan for getting strategic and intentional in prayer. Practical, powerful, and rooted in Scripture. Highly recommend. Grab it here.
Serving God Wholeheartedly in Every Season
Colossians 3:23:
“Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord.”
Faithfulness is not dependent on your season. Obedience looks the same whether you’re single or married. Everything we do should point to the glory of God. That sounds oversimplified, but think about what your life would actually look like if every single thing you did was for the glory of God. How would it be different?
Romans 12:1:
“Present your bodies as a living sacrifice.”
The Christian life is a continual act of surrender and devotion. We die to ourselves daily and do the uncomfortable things. We do what God has called us to do, because he paid a debt we could never fathom and gave it to us simply because he loves us. Obedience is the least we can offer back.
1 Peter 4:10:
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.”
Every believer has gifts meant to be used for the kingdom right now, not when life looks different. Go volunteer somewhere at your church. If you don’t like kids, please stay out of the children’s ministry, but get on the welcome team, the production team, go talk to your neighbor. Just pick something and tell God, if this isn’t of you, steer me somewhere else. He will. He’ll absolutely do it.
Singleness gives Flexibility
Singleness gives you flexibility to serve that you won’t always have. The goal is not to wait until the next season to start. The goal is to be faithful now.
And here’s the honest truth: if you can’t steward singleness well, marriage isn’t going to fix it. It’s like winning the lottery when you’re broke. Six months later you’re bankrupt again, because it wasn’t money you needed. It was a mindset shift, a heart change, actual skills. In the same way, if you’re not stewarding your singleness well, you’re not going to steward your marriage well. The work happens now.
Questions to sit with:
- What gifts has God given you that you can use right now?
- Are you living with wholehearted devotion, or are you waiting for life to begin later?
Singleness Is a Stewardship Assignment
Luke 16:10:
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.”
Faithfulness in small seasons prepares you for larger responsibilities. Faithful with your time and faithful with your money. Faithful with your home, your friendships, your church. If you’re faithful in the little, God will give you more.
Ecclesiastes 3:1:
“For everything there is a season.”
Things are going to be hard. Then they’re going to get better. Then hard again, then better. That’s true in singleness, in marriage, in parenting, in all of it. Every season has its own purpose.
Singleness is not a lesser season. It’s not a pause. It’s where God shapes identity, discipline, calling, and devotion. When you steward it well, it becomes a time of growth that prepares you for whatever comes next.
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A Prayer to Close
Heavenly Father, thank You for this time in Your Word. I pray that You work in each of us and help us to find our identity in You, not in our relationship status, not in our circumstances, but in You alone. Help us to be disciplined with our time, our habits, and our purity. I pray for porn addiction to be broken right now in the name of Jesus. Lord I pray for loneliness to be replaced with Your presence. I pray for clarity of calling and for hearts that are wholeheartedly devoted to You in this season. Thank You for all You’ve done, all You’re doing, and all You will do. In Jesus’ name, amen.
If this hit home and you’re ready to stop just surviving your season and actually steward it well, come join us in the STWRD Collective. It’s a community of women who are done waiting for life to begin and are choosing to be faithful right now, whatever season they’re in. I’d love to see you in there.
Find me on Instagram at @karleighwalkswithjesus or reach out at karleighwalkswithjesus@gmail.com.
I love you. God loves you. Now go steward your season.
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