Prayer is one of the most important parts of a relationship with God. It is also one of the areas where I see the most inconsistency in my own life. Reflecting honestly on my prayer habits has forced me to confront both the areas where God has been working and the places where I still need to grow.
This reflection walks through several aspects of my personal prayer life, including what holds me back, how I can improve, and how I want my prayer life to grow moving forward.
The Awkwardness That Gets in the Way
One of the biggest obstacles I face when it comes to prayer is something that feels almost embarrassing to admit. My greatest hindrance is simply awkwardness.
There have been moments recently where I felt the Lord prompt me to turn on worship music and spend time with Him. In those moments I have ended up face down on my bed in a mess of tears, overwhelmed with gratitude and worship.
But there are other times where I feel the same prompting and cannot seem to say the words.
I know exactly what is happening in those moments. I know spiritual warfare is real. I know the enemy wants to keep me from prayer because it is one of the most powerful ways we connect with God.
Yet something as simple as awkwardness can stop me from praying.
It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, but that is often how the enemy works. He does not always need a dramatic attack. Sometimes he just needs enough hesitation to keep us silent.
The Only Way Forward Is to Start
The most obvious way to improve my prayer life is also the simplest.
I need to pray more often and stop overthinking it.
Over time my reverence for God has grown significantly. While that reverence is good, it has also created a wall in my mind that I built myself. Sometimes I feel like I need the perfect words or the perfect setting before I can approach Him.
That is not how prayer works.
Prayer is simply conversation with God. The only way to break through that wall is to meet God where I am and talk to Him honestly.
Worship music helps me tremendously in this process. Music has always been a powerful way for me to enter into God’s presence. It helps shift my focus away from distraction and toward Him.
More than anything, though, the solution is simply to begin.
The Problem of Mental Drifting
Another challenge I face in prayer is mental drifting.
It would be easy for me to blame things like ADHD, OCD, stress, or the chaos of parenting. While those factors certainly play a role, the truth is much simpler.
The biggest issue is that I have not been praying consistently enough.
There have been seasons in my life where prayer felt completely natural. During those times I was in constant conversation with God throughout the day. Mental drifting barely happened because my mind was already centered on Him.
Right now I am in a different season.
Prayer and Bible reading have slipped down my list of priorities. When that happens, distraction becomes much easier.
The common denominator in all of it is me.
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Returning to Prayer Journaling
One of the most helpful tools I have used in the past is prayer journaling.
D. A. Carson recommends journaling as a way to articulate prayers clearly and slow down the mind. He explains that writing out prayers encourages self-examination and helps prevent mental drifting.¹
For a long time I journaled every morning. I would review previous entries and highlight answered prayers. I would also note the requests that still needed continued prayer.
That practice helped me track what God was doing in my life while also keeping my mind focused during prayer.
It also solved another problem.
As someone who processes externally, I often prefer speaking things out loud. However, with my son around there are certain concerns or struggles I do not want him overhearing. Writing allowed me to be completely honest with God without worrying about explaining adult situations to him.
Unfortunately it has been months since I have done this consistently.
That needs to change.
The Gift of a Prayer Partner
My primary prayer partner is my husband.
We end our daily Bible study together with prayer, and his presence has been incredibly helpful for accountability. I have always struggled with consistency in prayer, but he is the kind of person who will stop everything and say, “We need to pray before we move forward.”
Because of that habit, I pray out loud at least once every day.
Praying with him has also helped me become more comfortable praying audibly. While I still have room to grow, I am grateful for the way God has used my husband to strengthen my prayer life.
A Conversational Prayer Style
My personal prayer style is conversational.
I often find myself talking with God throughout the day. However, when I intentionally set aside time for prayer, I usually turn everything off and simply talk to Him.
Some of the most meaningful prayer moments I have had recently happened while driving alone in the car. Those moments are rare, but when they happen they often turn into emotional encounters with God where I am fighting to see the road through tears.
My goal in prayer is not only to speak but also to listen. Prayer is meant to be a conversation, not a monologue.
The Beauty of Scripture-Filled Prayers
One thing that consistently inspires me when I hear others pray is their knowledge of Scripture.
When someone can naturally weave passages of Scripture into their prayers, it amazes me. While I know the Bible well conceptually, I have not memorized Scripture as thoroughly as I would like.
That is an area where I want to grow.
The apostles and early believers knew Scripture so deeply that it flowed naturally from their hearts. I want that same familiarity with God’s Word so that it shapes both my thinking and my prayers.
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This is the exact one I use!
It’s deep, solid, and totally worth it.
Growing in Scripture-Based Prayer
Carson discusses the value of linking prayer requests to Scripture. He acknowledges that this can feel difficult, but I do not think the challenge is complicated.
The real issue is simply knowing Scripture.
If believers spent more time reading and memorizing the Bible, praying Scripture would become much more natural. The solution is straightforward. Read the Word, memorize it, and then pray it.
The more Scripture fills my mind, the more it will shape the way I approach God in prayer.
Worship and Confession
Music plays a major role in how my family approaches worship.
My husband, my son, and I are all very musical, so praise and worship through music often becomes the way we enter into prayer. Worship helps center our attention on the goodness of God.
At the same time, I am learning that worship is not limited to music. Worship is also about how we live and how our actions bring glory to God.
Confession is another daily part of my prayer life. Many times I find myself confessing during prayer when I realize I am asking God for reassurance about something He has already promised or making excuses for something He has asked me to do.
Those moments reveal areas where I am resisting obedience.
Praying in Public
Public prayer is something I still struggle with.
Much of that discomfort comes from worrying about what other people think. I fear saying something wrong or sounding foolish.
To push back against that fear, I have started praying publicly at the end of podcast episodes and YouTube videos. Sometimes I also pray at the end of livestreams.
Every time I do it, the same realization comes back to me. The only opinion that truly matters is God’s.
When I focus on obedience instead of performance, the fear becomes much smaller.
Learning to Persevere in Prayer
One of the areas where I need to grow the most is perseverance in prayer.
For a long time I avoided praying repeatedly for the same request because it felt like I was questioning God’s will. If I asked once or twice, I assumed that should be enough.
But Scripture shows that faithful prayer often involves persistence.
Jesus taught His followers to keep asking, seeking, and knocking. Prayer is not about forcing God to act. It is about continually bringing our needs and desires before Him with faith.
Learning to persevere in prayer is something I want to develop moving forward.
Tracking God’s Answers
When God answers prayer, I usually respond privately. I thank Him personally and often share the story with my best friend.
But I do not share those testimonies publicly as often as I should.
God deserves that recognition. Sharing stories of answered prayer can encourage others and remind them that God is still working.
That is something I feel called to do more intentionally.
A Prayer Jar and a Bigger Vision
One of the practical tools my husband and I use is a prayer jar.
Inside the jar are four different colors of sticky notes, each representing a category. One category includes people in our lives. Another includes the bands involved in the music festival we are starting. A third category covers aspects of our businesses. The final category includes people we struggle with or dislike.
Each day we pull one note from each category and pray for those needs.
Praying for people we dislike has been particularly revealing. It has exposed areas of my heart that still need transformation.
Recently I have also felt challenged to expand my prayers beyond personal needs. After reading Radical, I want to begin praying intentionally for the entire world throughout the course of a year.
Starting Today
At the end of the day, the most important step is simply starting.
As I wrote this reflection, I was sitting in the lobby of my church between services. My husband and I serve during two services, so we often find ourselves waiting in the lobby while the second service finishes.
As soon as we pick up our son from childcare and get in the car, we will pray together.
Then when we get home, I plan to add scheduled prayer times to my calendar so that prayer becomes a daily priority instead of something squeezed into leftover moments.
Sometimes spiritual growth begins with a complicated plan.
Other times it begins with a simple decision.
Today, it begins with prayer.
Bibliography
Carson, D. A. Praying with Paul: A Call to Spiritual Reformation. 2nd ed. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2014.
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